How To Win Back Your Ex

There are many different ways to win back your ex and some will be more appropriate to some than others. Today we’ll be covering some of those options but before we start with getting your ex back, ask yourself one question – “Do I really want my ex back?”.

It may seem a silly question but a lot of people want their ex back simply because they do not like being on their own and if your relationship has broken up, maybe your ex wasn’t right for you. I’m not saying that’s the case, just suggesting that it is a point worth considering.

Another consideration is why the relationship ended in the first place. Did it end because of something you did (or didn’t do)? This question is important for a few reasons. If you haven’t done anything wrong then why did the relationship break up? Did your ex do something wrong and if so, you need to go back to the first question and ask if you really want them back or do you just miss being in a relationship?

Whatever the reason you broke up, if you still want your ex back after asking those questions then let’s have a look at some of your options. I can only speculate on the causes and it’s impossible to cover all of the reasons but I’ll focus on the most common reasons and how you can try to fix what is broken – if it’s not too late.

Trust

Many relationships end due to a breakdown in trust. This can be for a lot of different reasons. Maybe you have cheated in some way or you have let them down when they really needed you. However this trust has been broken, this is one of the most difficult things to fix in a relationship of any kind. The first challenge is getting your ex to really listen to you but once you do this it is important to let them know how sorry you are and that you have learned from your mistake.
One of the key points to get across is that we are all human and we all make mistakes. The important thing is that we learn from our mistakes and you need to explain to them how you have learned and how you can ensure it doesn’t happen again. This in itself will not regain the trust – that can only be regained in time, however this may help to give you a chance to get that time. Don’t expect everything to be rosy at first and be aware that there will be flare ups. If you have wronged your ex then you have to accept your fair share of grief in return.

Intimacy

Many couples break up because the spark has gone from their relationship. Ideally one of you would recognise this before the break up but more often than not it leads to a break up eventually. If you have only recently split up then there’s a good chance that you may have further sexual relations with your ex as statistics say that 42% of us have sex with our partners at least once after we break up for this reason. This is often one of the main reasons couples get back together but if you don’t address the original issue then the chances are that you are only putting off another break up further down the line.

One of the best ways to address this problem is to play some games. There are many games available to help with this and they are very effective if both of you buy in to them properly. These games help to give you playful nudges to try things that you otherwise would not have thought of, or might have thought of but were unable to approach the subject. This may not be something you are able to do with your first time back together as it may come across as premeditated however it is something you should definitely look to try to avoid going down the same path again.

Something you can try for your first time back together (and ongoing) is aphrodisiacs. These can help raise the sensation, especially during foreplay which in turn leads to a more satisfying climax for you both. There are many varieties of aphrodisiacs so be sure to get a scent or flavour that appeals to your partner. This shows that you are thinking about them and are doing all you can to make the whole experience more enjoyable for them.

Indifference

Many couples break up due to indifference. Most commonly this is down to communication break down and this is one of the easiest things to address as a reason for breaking up. The first thing to do is recognise this and the second is to ensure that your ex knows this too. If you are able to do this then you have already began to communicate again but it must not stop there. Communication breakdown is generally due to having a lack of things to talk about. Maybe you have spent too much time in each others’ pockets and haven’t had enough time apart. Many couples enjoy their early days together so much that they almost cut themselves off from the outside world but this can be very harmful in the long run.

Think back to what you and your partner used to do before you got together and suggest that you can both start to do this again. This will allow you to see different people and to do different things and this gives you extra things to talk about. It may sound very simple but it’s often the simple things that are most effective. Once you have things to talk about, conversations should then flow a lot easier, rather than how things tend to be when you have to force conversation. This is very uncomfortable and leads to silences .

Summary

Don’t forget to ask yourself the initial questions as you may be pursuing a partner that is not suited for you. Write down the questions and answers and also write down other questions that you might want to ask yourself. There are too many questions to put in a single article however if you write down your own questions you’ll be able to see things a lot more clearly and may possibly be surprised at some of the answers you come up with. Good luck in your quest and I wish you all the very best of luck and happiness.

Tags: Relationship Advice