The emotional roller coaster of a depressing breakup generally affects both parties in similar ways. The intensity may be different for the person who wanted the breakup than for the ‘dumpee’, but both people will go through the emotional stages of a relationship breakup.

Knowing and recognizing the different steps for what they are can help you move through the process a little easier. Each stage is necessary so you can heal, be whole and able to find love again some day. Don’t try to shrotcut the steps, just remember that after you’ve gone through each step you will be on the road to feeling stronger.

There is no time limit for how long each step should take to get through. How long it takes will depend on a lot of things such as how secure you are in yourself and what type of a support system you have.

Here are the 5 major steps in a relationship breakup:

1) Pain. This will often hit hard and fast. At first the pain can be diminished somewhat by a feeling of disbelief but once that passes the pain can seem unbearable. This is a physical pain. You might not be able to eat or sleep. Everything seems like too much effort. You just want to crawl into a corner and be left alone.

2) Denial. This is the step when you start thinking that it is all a big mistake and surely your ex will realize it very soon and the two of you will be back together. That can be a dangerous way to think. It is important that you try to move through this stage as quickly as possible. Lingering too long in this stage can really make it harder to heal and move on.

3) Anger. This is when all your fear and hurt turns to anger. You are outraged that someone who claimed to love you could hurt you so deeply. This stage is very destructive and hurtful to both parties and if you’re not careful how you handle this stage you migh sabotage any chances you have of getting back together.

It’s also important to make sure you don’t become overly bitter. If you let that bitterness grow too strong it could follow you into other relationships making it harder to ever having a fulfilling relationship again.

4) Grieving. At this stage you will mourn your lost relationship. You will often spend a lot of time reminiscing about all the good times the two of you had shared. It is very important to keep a close watch on your mental health during this stage.

If you ever feel like ‘killing yourself’ make sure you seek help immediately. It is impossible to believe while going through this but you really will love again, if you allow yourself to.

5) Acceptance. You will finally reach a point where you realize it’s over. You are stronger and better able to start thinking more about your future and less about your past. This time can be bittersweet: you’ve realized and dealt with the fact that your relationship is over which is sad, but you’re also excited about new opportunities and convinced you will find love again.

The more you know about the emotional stages of a relationship breakup and how to deal with them the easier and quicker you can move on from living in the past to a bright new future. Just make sure you understand that this is all normal and it will get better, just hang in there.

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Breaking up is hard to do and surviving a breakup can be even harder…
Life goes on though, and you can too. Read on for some practical advice for surviving a difficult break up.

The foundation of a relationship is love and trust. When basics are lost, a relationship falters and fails. It’s hard; I know how hard it is! Unfortunately, so many relationships end awfully and surviving a breakup can seem to be an unachievable task.

The first thing to remember is just because your relationship has come to an end it does not mean your life has too. It is so easy to stop living and wallow in self pity. But you are doing yourself no favours! I won’t say snap out of it – because I know how difficult that is too.

There is more than one way to surviving a difficult breakup. Take one day at a time and try some of these tips:

1. Accept that your relationship is finished.
You need to start moving on and that is out of the question unless you accept that the relationship has finished. You can not turn back the clock. Even if you wish to get back together with your ex at some point, it will be a new relationship and not the old one. Acceptance is the first stage to surviving a breakup.

2. Make a plan for each day
There is nothing harder than going from days packed with time with your ex to being alone. It will take some effort at first to fill your newly found free time and not be thinking what you would be doing if you were still with your partner.

But, it is crucial to surviving a breakup that you do fill that time. Plan your days in advance. Restart old hobbies, volunteer to help in community projects, hang out with friends, join a class, redecorate – fill up your days with activity.

Have each day mapped out in advance if possible, it will help to stop you sitting and feeling sorry for yourself.

3. Love yourself!
Remember, you are not just “the other half”. You are a person in your own right. Remember how unique and special you are. Love yourself and don’t let yourself go.

frequently, after a difficult breakup, many people stop taking care of themselves, neglect their appearance and stop eating well. Put yourself first for a while and pamper yourself. Eat healthily; treat yourself to new clothes or a massage – whatever you enjoy.

You will find by taking care of yourself that it helps to keep up your confidence and self esteem. Your self esteem has taken a bit of a bump; give yourself the space and opportunity to pull back.

4. Accept help
Your friends and family will be worried about you. Don’t push them away. Accept their help and company. Take the time too, to catch up with old friends that you may have ignored during your relationship. Surround yourself with people who do care about you, they will be a big help in surviving a difficult breakup.

5. Let go
When you feel up to it, finally say goodbye to that ex relationship. Get rid of any of your partners’ things that you may still have. Sometimes, it helps to see definite ending to get closure. Host a “breakup party” and celebrate being single again.

Surviving a Breakup isn’t always simple. You will have hard times. Don’t be tempted to sit and feel sorry for yourself.

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Tags: breakup